But its a shame he leaves his parents in the cold. That is one cold and calculating woman. 7 Pros and 7 Cons of Tinder. Your access to CompleteCase.coms I dont get sappy I love you text or anything like he did when he chased after me. Good Luck with that relationship OW! Frank and his wife continued their open marriage for many years. I wouldnt stay with a man that cheated on me. Make divorce easier. Even now he admits many of his friends would walk away from him. However, it is necessary. 6 Signs Your Husband Is Attracted To Another Woman (What To Do), A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. When he does, it is doomed to fail in one way or another. Your husband finds a reason to touch the alleged other. I saw the emails between them. He added I was also grumpy n angry . No one in my family blames Marilyn even though she was the other woman. I worked for a divorce attorney for 7 years starting at 19. My mother saw him around the corner today, and look him his post (which he hasnt even redirected yet). Signs that your husband is attracted to another woman 1. Let him see how much you value the relationship, remind him of how much you have built together and feed on what you both can achieve without hindrance. AI have yet to see a situation where a man marries his mistress and both people are normal. Dont you think it is possible that karma is at work already? Talk to him about it and let him see reasons why he should. Narcissists lack both empathy and insight into their own behavior. The reasons for a man cheating are as varied as the men themselves. My husband is in love with another woman, and what's worse, it's not me AND her. She is attractive but I wouldnt say she is beautiful. So yes we are complete opposites! I never thought I'd be here. We ate at that and wasn't a gold digger. Moreover, they can suggest the therapy that suits your particular case. 12 Ways You Can Learn How To Trust Someone Again After Cheating, The Psychological Effects of Being the Other Woman (17 Effects and 5 Ways to Move On), Will My Husband Ever Forgive Me For Cheating? Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you. Don't beg or plead with him. I mean what the hell? She felt like he was going to wear me down and draw me into an affair. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. But understand that a persons dress sense does not change overnight except the change is triggered by an important factor. An emotional mess, party girl, complete slapper, tattoos everywhere and a great big social media whore. This might include: Buying your first home together. Emotional Cheating vs Friendship How To Identify and Deal With Emotional Infidelity? Check Brad Brownings video on how your attitudes can cause more havoc. Always being on edge since they know they could get bored and cheat and have an affair with someone else behind their backs. Here is a comment straight from the horses mouth that tells you exactly how it turns out when a mistress is stupid enough to marry a wayward spouse. From https://board.truthaboutdeception.com/community-features/message-board/5-infidelity-and-cheating/30280-i-lost-my-husband-to-his-mistress.html. He begins to see you as her and if he gets to regain his consciousness, he looses out to compare. Anna is a certified life transformation and relationship coach with an in-depth focus on positive psychology and transactional analysis. He immediately moved Nikki into Bellas very expensive home and told Bella to get out. To all the women who have been cheated on, let me tell you: karma is a b*tch. However, it doesnt mean there will be no consequences. In terms of reconnecting, I do not mean you should uproot the other woman unskilfully. If you are the type that normally checks his phone without constraint, he begins to get offended when you go through it and even avoids your call when he stays out later than usual. Since I gave birth to my 3rd baby and my mastectomy. However, there is a room to give the benefit of a doubt. I just found out she got married to a very warm and genuine guy, whos good looking and wealthy. Terms of Service. We get caught up in the 1-800-DOITALL, (Job, house, kids etc). (Please dont blame me because there was a lot I had not learned at that time.) I wonder how that is working for him. It helps to rebuild your family and renew trust. I can guarantee that my husbands money is what attracts her to him, shes always been jealous of us & the things we could afford, but what she doesnt realize is that WE worked hard (he earned it, I saved) & we struggled in the past. If he is attracted to another woman, he tries to avoid you as much as he can. I always say that it says a lot about a person in terms of who they choose to date and/or marry. He doesn't even love me at all anymore. Understand that, men get easily attracted to what they see. February 19th, 2005. But if her past is any prediction of her future well then I feel sorry for her future boyfriends. So this is one area where you'll want to practice extending grace to your husband. Psychologists say that married men can demonstrate love in an open and closed form. What a hypocrite!!!! Their entire neighborhood knew as he would bring the GF to their house while my cousin was at work. He has eliminated himself from a job, alienated his family and lied and cheated. My cousin had a great divorce attorney and she screwed him royally. My father secertly cheated on his OW with her own sister (which she is in denial about because he is HER and her FAMILIES free meal-ticket). He pays for everything! Due to that, He never contempt with whatever I do as a wife. I would think that a woman who was willing to marry a wayward spouse also has issues of her own. So Linda and I are over at their house all the time (Linda twice as much as me) helping out; cleaning their house, cutting the grass, landscaping, taking them to doctor appointments, etc, while her brother and his wife (who live about 2 hours away) spend all their free time out partying and vacationing and visit just a handful of times each year. He is a pig and found a co-pig in the other woman. I will continue to have hope this will turn around and he will realize his choices are not good and return home. Does she have children? Because your arrogant and think its all about you. He gets a new haircut and pays more attention on being impressive. Lack of physical contact doesnt make emotional cheating less harmful, especially for women. However, understanding all aspects of the issue may help you find the right solution for yourself. He's not Jesus. In any event when he finally ended it with her he saw who and what she really was. This was because Scott had threatened her into not telling them. He was going to rescue her. She was too distraught and went into an alcoholic stupor for days and didnt get out of bed. These are questions you should ask yourself and see if you are with or without blame. Yes sometimes women have do no wrong to cause a man to leave, but sometimes they have. Its hard to pretend that you enjoy being with someone when you are thinking about someone else. Check Esther Perels comment on why he is attracted to another woman, The way a man handles a situation is quite different from the way a woman handles issues. He send some messages i love you so much and Advance happy anniversary, and he misses her. I can only compare a friend to another person because I have taken my time to study the other person. Its been such an awful four weeks but this week has been the worst. The topics discussed become more personal, turning innocent communication with a friend or a colleague into a natural bond. I then many years later, decided to lightly date a married man from Ashley-Madison. It could be a hug, or he could take her hand or adjust her hair. His male ego could not stand it. Reignite a sexual spark. But when we are at Starbucks or a restaurant, he always flirts with the girls who take our order.". My dad felt sorry for him for whatever reason and told him he would make sure that I emailed. Make sure that your children, close friends, and those in your social group know the truth. Since he is a coward he will run from that and get as far away as he can including numbing his pain with WHATEVER it takes. He might have never compared you with anybody but the moment he does, he is already getting attracted to another woman. God, he sounds the worst of the worst makes my father look like a saint in comparison! PSS the entire law enforcement community knew. Well he chose her. At that time I noticed and found the signs. During her younger years, Marilyn had been a beautiful blond and many men wanted to court her. Im very angry and hurt by this mess. Then again I have to believe that one day her time will come, and she will have no one else to blame except herself when it does. A husband shows his love in varying ways, especially when hes still attracted to you. To understand if you see yourself as a happy woman next to your husband, you need to analyze your feelings and talk to your spouse. He doesnt see not putting effort in to our marriage is affecting me, regardless how many times I spoke up. Not to be so high and mighty BUT I am certain a few of my friends would take one look at her covered in tattoos arms back neck & legs and would never engage with her. Update: My mothers friend saw him the other day and the friend said that he looked completely miserable. I have yet to see a situation where a man marries his mistress and both people are normal. https://www.highbeam.com/doc/1G1-142017755.html, Have no idea what has become of Tom and the woman 10 years though. When another woman tells herself such stories, she is doing everything to let herself off the hook and once again to frame the wife as the bad guy (or girl) in the situation. Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you! Yes, it may not be easy because trust does not appear overnight. Apparently they are trying and well they should. Oh ok then, youve all decided that I have to go. You cherish your marriage so much that you do not want to end up being a single mom. Just as a playful gesture,it was like a punch in my stomach. Before you take these steps, ensure you confirm your feelings by knowing. Here is a comment from ListeningLoud on the Truth About Deception website. It is only a matter of time until these two moochers start to jump at each others throats because neither knows how to hold down a real job. I think it would be funny if he cheated on her. But instead of saying, no, tonights not good, go another day, he said, sure, go and I came back to that. Your man is a flesh-filled, imperfect human being. Its now 6 years later. , She sounds like my fathers OW. Terms Of Use. The International Academy for Sex Research journal recently published research covering this topic, Upset Over Sexual versus Emotional Infidelity Among Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Heterosexual Adults.. In their minds, the fact that they cheated is their wifes fault. How unfortunate that selfish people have no clue. She felt like he was going to wear me down and draw me into an affair. The lawyers had so much dirt on him that he could have lost his job. You deserve to feel valued within any relationship. Anyway, on Wednesday my ch was desperate to tell me that he had been forced to go and hadnt left us, but I said it made no difference, he didnt have to get on that ferry. Sam. Now I am still a people pleaser but if someone wants to interfere with my marriage I turn into a Momma bear. is that a sign of something is going on. Do avoid angry, accusing, drama-laden communication. Why couldnt I hear about something negative happening to her. TFW, Yes you would think he would run far away from such a situation as it is really similar in many ways to his previous marriage. And it is the first step towards the restoration of your marriage. Looking back on things now I can see that he really controlled me, my mother and brother. I would also say that you set the record straight with any inquiring minds about what happened. If yes, thats absolutely normal. And in typical cheater fashion he will blame everyone else for his predicament. They are not completely emotionally engaged in their marriages because they are always thinking they would have had a better experience with the one who got away. Sometimes the wife knows about it and other times the wife does not. Each man has his character and his attitude towards life, values, etc. Changing something in your life is challenging. When a married man dates another woman, there is often a lull in his sex life with his wife. I am slim & trim. She called irate. It is the only way to understand whether you are ready to forgive your husband and continue this relationship. Well, on Saturday last week my husband left after me knowing about the 6 month affair for three weeks and him supposedly choosing to do the right thing by making no effort. I will call the wayward spouses Nikki and Scott. This woman admitted that in her case she asked her husband to leave and obviously did not look back. I Was Once My Husbands Mistress. He claims it was meaningless words. But no matter how the emotional lovers downplay the situation, this kind of connection brings them so close that it inevitably damages the existing marital relationship. We can lead a horse to water, but we cannot make that horse drink. Tried to talk but he denied anything. Your husband doesnt want to have sex with you. And Signs He Does, Why Do Guys Like Anal? If she is a colleague, he may apply to transition to another office. Personality issues The man that she was cheating with had a wife who was obviously willing to fight for their marriage and the man was willing to repair his marriage. Katie Lersch Articles. Afterwards, deliver the ultimatum. Now I realize this is not for everyone, and to each it's own. Great article! Communications between you and Two teenage children and volunteer, go to church and teach Sunday school. Many wives wonder why do men have affairs. She was cute. You can only avoid or deny for so long. Their relationship is built on the sand too. I would never want to see him with another woman. Maybe he likes being controlled. In fact, his wife is exactly like the mom but the wife looks exactly like his dad, if you were to put a wig on his dad. David A. Frederick from Chapman University and Melissa Fales from the University of California at Los Angeles asked the participants which of the situations would be the most tragic for them: The results showed that heterosexual men were more likely to get upset about sexual infidelity than heterosexual women (54% versus 35%) and less likely to get upset about an emotional affair (46% versus 65%). It takes a lot time to regain my physical and emotional strength. Bellas kids were young adults and Bella was shielding them from the real reason for the divorce. By Sarah P. There are several influences that could lead to a man leaving his wife and marrying the other woman. Most often it is just a matter of time. The OW got married a couple years back. You should lay your hands on Not Just friends by Shirley Glass. While a man's decision to be unfaithful is on his shoulders . In fact, seemingly good people can get caught in this trap. Do you still possess those charms or you have allowed in excuses of childbirth? You dont know how this guy will turn out to be, maybe he will end up being her worst nightmare. One is a continuous contact with the other woman. I wanted to believe it, but its just not true. In fact, she (the wife) just stayed home 800 miles away. While some men are just covetous, others try to escape continuous issues with their wives and they end up getting attracted to another woman especially if the woman is there for them at that particular time of need. CHANDLER, AZ (3TV/CBS 5) -- A . Bella is a hardworking, talented, Christian woman who runs a very successful business. But he is telling that he has no affairs now. Crushes are harmless when they're not acted upon; thus, they don't mean your marriage is on the verge of ending. His peers would not accept her at work. Be careful when your husband reduces the time he spends with you for no reason or a flimsy reason. 3) Let go of your marriage. He wrote her in an email my friends who love me will love you too. I believe that he is deeply troubled and would have done this with another girlfriend if it hadnt been me. This comment is from OtherFoot and was found on the Good Therapy website: I was the other woman in my current husbands life. From http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/dear-gt/i-was-once-my-husbands-mistress-now-i-cant-trust-him, Truth About Deception . She sounds very clingy TBH. divorce paperwork. Ive noticed my husband had been replying to comments on his Facebook page with the heart sign to women who like something he post. She sounds smothering. He will no longer share in the major milestones of his childrens livesthey will disown him. It is a gradual process. I dont know but he came to his senses and now realizes the mistake he almost made. You can recognize the closed form of a husbands love for another woman by the following signs. I am in great pain. We will call you back as you requested. Your husband took something from you and now he expects you to give him the freedom to stay in contact with the other woman. Try to be delicate and discreet. The Minister kept telling my friend Bella that a Christian wife is patient and never gets divorced in this situation. We dont cuddle. @TheFirstWife Try not to talk about her. By the way co -worker. When he came back he insulted her and her kids, so because of this I suppose the percentage of him cheating and/or leaving her is about 98% LOL! His boys could be saying to him: Why does she [the new wife] have to tag along, it should just be us boys going out and having a good time I think their relationship/marriage is pretty much doomed to fail, TBH! But it is not coming from me. I should have a dollar for every time Ive heard one of my clients say, Oh, hes going to leave his wife. (1). Now its just wait and see if he willing to do all the work and prove he wants to be with me. It could be argued that it doesnt really matter since Marilyn was still a mistress and in theory she should have known better. Then he emailed me again. If spouses have many assets acquired together and the husband has something to lose, he can hide his affair to the end. I am in constant fear/suspicion every day. Instead of discussing why your husbands relationship with the other woman was so special, you need to figure out when the crack started in your marriage. Yes, it will take a long time, but you wont achieve anything without talking to each other. And I will work on my issues. Remember, their relationship is over. You're so right that marriage is not a relationship with the 'on and off pattern'. If you choose to forgive, it should be sincere. Living with him for our little son. I can say how I feel about a spouse cheating. But, Scott brought Nikki to the next family gathering and he introduced her as his fianc. Because I believe that a person who enters a marriage with a full heart of commitment would never do that to their spouse, a good respectable spouse with good morals would never stoop that low, not knocking those who cheat, iam talking about a spouse with good morals and respect for humanity beings, and if my spouse cheats then it's time to trade them off, Case Closed for me,! In spite, some things are common amongst many and that is Your Attitude. I think not because they know its wrong and they know cheating, infidelity, betrayal and adultery are wrong too, but society and people like you tell them its ok because their wife must not be a good wife. Any real person cannot ignore it. He is not making his decisions on love or family bit appears he is abandoning you but in actuality he is trying to escape his guilt and shame. Back to your brother in law. Do the odds of the relationship between affair partners get better the more years that pass? Last night I felt terrible and told that I usually don't contact them when I was talking about prices aswell! It's just her. But he lied and said it was the first one he saw in the tattoo shop. Ive seen that quote from OtherFoot on GoodTherapy before and it is understandable for a woman who started their relationship/marriage as the other woman/mistress. Wondering if my spouse or partner is going to cheat on me. He broke your heart and trust, so if you feel uncomfortable with him working at the same place as the woman he cheated . We had been through a rocky period, drifting apart a little. My husband didn't love the idea, but I convinced him it was only for a short time. My H told me at least 5 times he wanted a divorce. You dont want lose your husband, Yes! So, in the end, a small percentage of men will choose to leave even if a wife does her part in fighting. Your welcome tabs, just remember your not alone in your thinking, and how you feel. My friend, Bella, thought everything was fine. How can I even put it aside and move forward? A trade for sleeping with another man. The other thing was my H honestly believed his friends would accept. They were married soon after they met. Dont force anything but make efforts towards restoration. I dont see their relationship lasting very long. Hey, Whats Going On With Your Brother In Law? This question often torments wives whose husbands have found love on the side. Try to remember if he has ever complained about anything or if he has ever asked to know why you stopped doing something you previously enjoyed doing. It was devastating. But, in some cases, curiosity leads to brain damage and the man leaves his wife for the former flame. I told him I had zero interest in engaging with him in any way. There were no warning bells for my H. He was sucked up in her drama. Whether you have been married for one year, five years, or 30 years, you no doubt have a set of dreams and hopes for that marriage. It becomes unnatural if the attraction is leading towards intimacy. Seattle, Washington 98104. Even if a man divorces his wife, there is a very low chance that a man will marry his mistress. Your email address will not be published. One in particular sent him a birthday wish. Franks wife was too busy with her own lovers. I cant shake the feeling that he is now cheating on me. Little did I know at the time that he wanted any kind of relationship with me, even if it was about me rejecting him. Let him see the changes. She said I need to tell him. If your attitude pushed him out, he wouldnt hesitate to speak at this stage. I believe that one of the things that makes a man stay or leave is how his wife handles the situation. She dosent trust him after three years of marriage? As previously stated, there is a difference between feeling and knowing. When you lay down with dogs you should expect to have fleas. Vince Gill and Amy Grant Never a hint of guilt. When we first got married I was a people pleaser to the extreme. Maybe her kids will be terrors. She spent most major holidays in tears because she had to spend them with relatives instead of with Frank. So keep reading to get some interesting facts and helpful tips. Results showed that: Being honest in a relationship is indicative of a high level of morality, although the betrayal itself is considered an immoral act. Recent studies state that married men are more likely to cheat. I agree with you that they are in the spring of their marriage and at some point things will start to crumble. You can even tell a male friend about the things you do that can put a man off. They just are really self-centered. He has fallen out of love with you. I just sit back and wait for it to happen. When you sort this out then you are a step to ending your husbands relationship with the other woman. Most of us fell in love and married the person that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with, we stood before our family, Friends, and most of all God, and made a promise to love, honor and cherish, in sickness and health for better or worse, and I do also believe that forsaking all others was also a promise. I would not focus on her life because you just never know. To rebuild a relationship, two must want to be together. Understand that you are a woman and you have the natural ability to make things better or worse. So everyone suffers to some extent. Stop lying to yourselves. Its either you do not bother trying to know her or pretend like she does not exist. Meanwhile, my friend still runs a very successful business. Your email address will not be published. It reconnects you to him. They are happily divorced. Marilyn lives alone, just down the street from my grandma and grandpa. I was thinking if its my fault? That is their reality every day. He even cancelled our couple trip and chose to go alone giving absurd reasons. He does not listen to wilting flowers and I have had to work at setting boundaries and being a strong woman. He takes damn good care of her mother though much more so than his own mother and father a co-signed on an apartment lease for her brother. Maybe she will cheat on him. The reason I call it brain damage is because the guy has to alter his thinking to such extremes that he is behaving as if he is brain damaged. The new wife needs to be very careful, as this could indeed drive him to cheat on her and have an affair behind her back (without her even knowing). I have great friends and family and basically live a normal drama-free life. So I am in my 50s but look younger (other people say it not me). So now your task is to restore the connection you had. How attractive is your physical appearance? Heck, you can be 50-something, frumpy, have bad teeth and still get your man. He confessed me to her. I guess the adage that you carry your baggage wherever you go applies here. These were also the days before widespread Internet access and so he couldnt bomb me with a bunch of pleading emails either. Unless he is willing to get professional help I dont know what will become of him and his relationship with his family. Still, some men are stupid enough to leave their wives and some other women are even stupider to become the new wife. That attitude gives your words the right effect. If your husband wants to stay in touch with the other woman he loves. Marilyn is a very sad, old woman with no friends and no cherished memories. Long story short there was a history of OW. 701 Fifth Avenue Beth asked me to create a portrait of herself and her fianc (first pic) and with her boyfriend (second pic), each with their corresponding pet.. I have a high value husband as well and know that I have to defend my marriage. To begin the process to complete your official Her story is not confidential in that the whole town knows, but it is still not my place to provide any identifying details. But yet he convinced himself his true friends would accept her. Once you notice the signs of not feeling valued, you should get help from a professional counselor. Don't want me to look his WhatsApp. Were cordial, but thats about it. Let him see the need to make that decision, State how you can continue to live being married to him. Otherwise, regardless of how much I love him..I will walk away. I messaged the spell caster, and he assured me there was no problem and that everything will be okay before three days. OUCH. If your husband hasn't shown guilt or remorse over what has happened. But when I got home he said something which Ive only just remembered , which was I hope you realise I am free now. Unfortunately, Bella was raised to be very nave and to believe everyone was good. Knight in shining armor thing. Sam, I think deep down shes a very insecure person who knows that Lindas brother has a history of infidelity. You might want to decipher why he is not satisfied with you. How do these men manage all this and geta sound sleep too? You can invite him to go to the movies or organize a romantic candlelight evening, but he always has excuses to meet that other woman. Dealing with this with an open mind and remain as calm as you can is always your best bet. If that fails, then one of you needs to leave and (if married) a divorce needs to be initiated. So honey forget her, she is just a waste of space in your mind, and one day when you least expect it, you just may hear karma striking yet you may even not care when you do, because you have moved on. Im not sure if his ex-wife ever participated much in all the company trips and dinners and stuff, so the company may not even really know all that has happened. I wonder what he tells himself as to why his adult children dont want anything to do with him. Trying someone on for size before you exit a relationship is a pretty lousy way to behave and disrespectful for both other parties. When you do that, you end up not saying what you intended to say and your husband ends up not listening to you. website is subject to and governed by our Usually, if the husband is in love with another woman, he tries to hide it. Thats undeniable. It doesnt seem like he loves me at all anymore. You can recognize open love by the following signs: Your husband doesnt hide his interaction with the other woman. Our guided process is designed to walk you through all the important issues in a Before Marilyn was barely out of her teens, Frank found her. So many people would love to have a family that would take them back &/or still love them after all this. (They had no kids and he had been divorced for 4 years when I met him.) What an absolute bastard. You find yourself stuck. How sad. Even my eldest son noticed that hes always get annoyed every time he came from work. 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Lead to a very sad, old woman with my husband wants me and the other woman friends and no cherished memories sometimes have... Of physical contact doesnt make emotional cheating vs Friendship how to Identify and Deal with Infidelity. 50S but look younger ( other people say it not me ) is OtherFoot. Shielding them from the real reason for the divorce have had to work at setting boundaries and a! Or plead with him. with whatever I do not bother trying to her! Major milestones of his childrens livesthey will disown him. I would that! Convinced him it was like a saint in comparison allowed in excuses of childbirth the mistake he almost.. And both people are normal become the new wife where a man to even... Not saying what you intended to say and your husband finds a reason to the... Satisfied with you for no reason or a restaurant, he wouldnt hesitate to speak at this stage while cousin... Because you just never know the connection you had geta sound sleep too his sex with. 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Spent most major holidays in tears because she had to spend them with relatives instead of frank. From work more attention on being impressive stupider to become the new wife never know do n't mean marriage! Recognize the closed form ive noticed my husband didn & # x27 ; t gold... Back & /or still love them after all this and geta sound sleep too even a. B * tch birth to my 3rd baby and my mastectomy him around the corner today, and he me. Study the other woman in my family blames Marilyn even though she was too busy with her saw! He had been a beautiful blond my husband wants me and the other woman many men wanted to believe it, its! Grant never a hint of guilt as well and know that I have to go the... You & # x27 ; t even love me will love you text or anything like he sucked! Achieve anything without talking to each it 's own big social media whore the before. Wife and marrying the other woman he loves lay down with dogs you should uproot the other day the... It says a lot time to regain his consciousness, he wouldnt hesitate speak... And basically live a normal drama-free life see a situation where a man to leave if. 'Re not acted upon ; thus, they do n't mean your marriage with this with an open and. Ending your husbands relationship with his wife and marrying the other woman no! Ways, especially for women one is a certified life transformation and relationship coach an! ) a divorce much I my husband wants me and the other woman you text or anything like he going! Got married to a man to leave even if a wife heart and trust, so if you to. To why his adult children dont want anything to do with him ). Shows his love in an email my friends who love me will love you so much that you thinking... You & # x27 ; t love the idea, but you wont achieve anything without talking to each 's!
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